


You're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need

by makesometime



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Body admiration, Flashbacks, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Japan Arc (Rusty Quill Gaming), Love Confessions, Non-Human Genitalia, Other, Quarantine, Sparring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:09:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28191459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makesometime/pseuds/makesometime
Summary: Everyone makes it safely back to Rome, meaning Grizzop has no choice but to face up to everything he's been avoiding and finally make a choice.
Relationships: Grizzop drik Acht Amsterdam/Vesseek
Comments: 16
Kudos: 34
Collections: Rusty Quill Secret Santa 2020





	You're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need

**Author's Note:**

  * For [skvadern](https://archiveofourown.org/users/skvadern/gifts).



> Vesseek uses they/them pronouns, and terminology used for them includes tits and cunt.

His head isn’t right until they’re in front of him again, not that there’s any time to stop and consider what that means, what it means, what it truly says about _how much he_ —.

Grizzop forces himself to concentrate on the swirling sounds around them, so loud and so _everywhere_ all at once. He wants so badly to look, the desperate need to know outweighing every bit of sense, but Vesseek’s hand wraps tighter around his and he remembers, every single time, every single moment that they’ve spent just like this, side-by-side…

_“‘Seek! C’mon!” He laughs, tugging on his friend’s hand. “Stop flirting, Eva’s waiting for us.”_

_Their face is alight with mischief as they shake their forlock out of their face, a faint blush blooming on their cheeks as they wink at the stallholder and allow Grizzop to pull them away._

_“What’s the hurry?” Vesseek grins, though their footsteps are just as fast. “She's not expecting us til noon!”_

_Grizzop shakes his head, forcing down the anxious churning of his gut. He’s just worried about letting Eva down. It’s definitely not because of the easy way that Vesseek had flirted with the woman, the pleased little smile she’d shot them. Bloody stupid._

_“Hey, what’s up with you? I got us extra!” They shake the brown paper bag, grease already melting through it. “Don’t be jealous.”_

_Grizzop rolls his eyes so hard it makes him feel dizzy. “I’m **not** jealous!”_

_Vesseek’s face shows him how much they believe that. “Sure. Sorry, let’s not keep Lady Eva waiting.”_

Grizzop swallows, winding his fingers tighter around Vesseek’s, claws biting into their skin and feeling the same in return. Stupid. Stupid. All the things that got in the way seem so fucking pointless now, here, with their lives at risk.

And then. Silence.

He opens his eyes first of the group, seeing everyone there in front of him apart from Eldarion. He’s spared from thinking about that by Vesseek flinging themself at him, arms so tight around his throat that he feels as if he might choke from it.

“Thank you.”

Grizzop swallows, holding them just as tight in return. “‘Course.”

\--

Quarantine sucks. It’s everything he hates, trapped in too small a space with too much unfamiliarity. He wants to move, he wants to know, he wants to _fight_.

The only upside is that it gives him a chance to finally stop. To sleep at night with his arms around Vesseek, their smaller body wrapped in his.

He’s not sure what he makes of this Zolf character, the dwarf entirely too difficult to read when his entire body is thrumming with the need to look after his people and to ensure that Wilde is actually fine, for once.

“Hey.”

He looks away from peering out at the reading dwarf, finding Vesseek holding out a bottle of something interesting.

“Sasha found these. Thought it might liven things up.”

Grizzop scoffs, but it doesn't stop him from reaching out and snatching the bottle, bringing it to his lips without hesitation. It is _foul_ but it’s alcohol and he’s really not in any position to be fussy. Vesseek takes the bottle away before he offers it and swallows down a healthy swig themself.

“Gods, that’s awful.” They laugh, swiping the back of their hand over their mouth and leaving the fur there sticking up at odd angles.

His fingers itch to smooth it out.

“Remember that time we were in Paris?” They continue. “I thought nothing could be worse than that rotgut we had, but this is close.”

_“You idiot!”_

_Vesseek stops still in the middle of the alley. “You’re drunk, Grizzop.”_

_Anger vibrates down his spine as he grits his teeth. “So are you.” He huffs. “So why did you pull us out of there?”_

_“Because.” Vesseek says, getting closer now. Grizzop becomes very aware of the wall at his back. “You were getting the wrong kind of attention. I wasn’t about to let you get us both in over our heads.”_

_“I almost had the intel!” He spits, not even sure why he’s so set on this argument here, now. “Now we’re gonna have to find another way in.”_

_“Fine!” Vesseek huffs. “And you won’t be chained up in a basement somewhere. That’s a price I’m willing to pay.”_

_Grizzop bares his teeth, fighting a snarl. He folds his arms over his chest as Vesseek gets closer, and the look on their face is enough to send the fight flooding out of him. “Fine. Maybe bloody check with me next time.”_

_“You’re too important.” Vesseek says, reaching up. For a moment it feels like they’re going for his face, only for the hand to fall on his shoulder instead. “You’re more important than risking a botched job, Grizzop.”_

Grizzop swallows around a tickle in the back of his throat, reaching out to snatch the bottle back from Vesseek’s hand, and using the moment of taking a swig to curve his free hand over the messy back of theirs, smoothing their fur and threading their fingers together.

“Let’s not talk about Paris, right?”

Vesseek’s got hints of green heat across their cheeks when Grizzop looks back, his tongue passing over his lips to catch up some of the sharp alcohol.

“Yeah. Sure.”

\--

He’s training with Sasha when it happens, enjoying the free time with his friend, and the competitive edge that this whole little session took on as soon as he managed to knock one her daggers out of the target with a skillful shot.

There’s a pleased shout from out in front of the inn, a sound that he’s more than a little familiar with. It’s followed by two swift laughs from Wilde and Zolf, and he glances over to find the pair sitting close together under the verandah. (Fucking weird, whatever it is that’s happening there, but it’s not his place to judge.)

He lets go of the arrow and nocks another as Sasha gives one of her little impressed laughs, which tells him despite his distraction he must have done pretty good.

Drawing back the bowstring, Grizzop lets his eyes drift to the source of Wilde and Zolf's amusement and feels his heart leap. Vesseek is sitting astride Barnes’ chest, a dagger held to the man’s throat. They’ve got their face all up close, a dangerously pleased look on their face as Barnes sighs and hits his palm on the dirt in two quick raps to tap out.

_“Give up.”_

_“Fuck you.”_

_“Grizzop…”_

_“Fuck!” He says again, all teeth and smiles. “You!”_

_Eva’s got them running drills today even though they’re only visiting, and he’s been in a pissy mood about it all morning because it’s cutting into his time with her. He’s become even more skilled with his bow than he was when he left, comfortable and confident and ready at a moment’s notice._

_He is not good at this close combat shit._

_“‘Seek. Let me—.”_

_“Let you what? You’ve got no weapon, save for the one I’m holding to your throat. You’ve got nothing, and you’re trying to find another way to win.” Vesseek grins. “Well it’s not gonna happen. Not this time.”_

_Grizzop keeps smiling, though he suspects Vesseek can tell how strained it is. His head races with thoughts. He could try and buckle their arm. He could throw dirt in their eyes. Pull their fur. They’re fast but he’s faster, always has been._

_But those all feel a bit dirty._

_Vesseek grins, their hand tightening around the training blade. Grizzop spots the minute they give, just a touch, and moves before he’s even really thinking about it, bringing his leg up to hook around one of theirs and surging up, flipping them onto their back._

_He can’t help but laugh at the look on Vesseek’s face, the shock and the annoyance melting into something that leaves them looking vaguely constipated. They open their mouth to complain and Grizzop shifts his weight, watching the angry flush turn deeper. Vesseek clamps their lips shut, going very still beneath him._

_“You okay?” Grizzop frowns, looking down when Vesseek’s eyes flicker away from his face and back._

_He realises two things then._

_How fast Vesseek’s pulse is underneath where his hand has settled at the base of their throat._

_And that the meat of his thigh is pressed right up between Vesseek’s._

_“Shit! Sorry.” He splutters, pushing up and sitting back on his heels._

_Vesseek smiles with bemusement as they sit up, rubbing a hand over the back of their head. They’re quiet for long enough that Grizzop has to grit his teeth against the torrent of words that he wants to use to fill the silence._

_“You don’t have to be sorry Grizzop.” They say, as Grizzop tries not to think about how **warm**_ _his thigh feels, even now, sat back and staring mutely at his fiend. “I just—.”_

_“Grizzop! Vesseek!”_

_It’s not exactly disappointment that floods through him at the sound of Eva’s voice but it’s close, as Vesseek loses all of their soft hesitation and hops to their feet, holding out a hand for Grizzop to take._

He looses the arrow towards the target due to suddenly weak fingers and he hears as it skitters across the gravel, a complete damp squib.

“You alright mate?”

He whirls around, the image of Vesseek straddling Barne’s chest imprinted on his mind’s eye even as Sasha peers at him, confused and curious.

“Yeah! Yes! Absolutely, what?”

Sasha takes a look behind him, and then sets a hand on her hip. “Really? I thought…” She trails off, waving her hand a bit awkwardly at him, though he has absolutely no idea how he’s supposed to interpret it. “You two. When are you gonna—.”

“No. Nope.” He shakes his head, striding away from her to fetch up his lost arrow. “I’m not talking about this.”

Sasha almost looks hurt, he thinks, her face turning clouded as she takes a seat on the ground. It brings her down to his level, even though he doesn’t think she’s done it on purpose.

“Hey, even with me?”

“Sasha…”

Grizzop sighs, flopping his weight down beside her and kicking out his feet. He lays his bow over his lap and fiddles with the fletching on the arrow in his grip.

“I…” He starts, running a claw over the feathers. “It’s…”

“How long you been sweet on them?” Sasha asks, cutting through his inability to find the words to express what’s going on in his mind.

He wants to splutter, to deny it.

It would be a waste.

Sasha knows him better than that by now, and honestly he’s sick of feeling this way, so out of control of his own destiny. His Lady has been remarkably silent on the times he’s been brave enough to consult her about it. It’s not disapproval, he thinks. Just disinterest. (It doesn’t hurt. It _doesn’t_.)

“Years?” He says eventually, hearing Sasha’s slow exhale (surprise? confusion?) “Never been a coward but…”

“Hey, I get it.” Sasha says. He looks up at her to find her watching the training, follows her gaze to find Vesseek sparring happily with Barnes once more. “It’s scary. Vulnerable, yeah?”

Grizzop grits his teeth. He doesn’t like this introspective shit. He’s no good at it. “Something like that.”

“Could just tell them.” Sasha says, audibly smiling. He doesn’t look at her. “Y’know it’s the end of the world, right?”

He can feel himself getting petulant, nervous energy filling the pit of his stomach. “Not a time for distractions.”

“Oh, mate that’s like. Absolutely not true.” Sasha gives a soft laugh. “No better time. Grab onto what you want with both hands. Find something to live for. All that shit.”

He hates that she’s making sense. Well. Doesn’t hate it. It’s along the same lines he’s been thinking since they got to Japan. Now or never, or something like that. But it’s… It’s _Vesseek_. He can’t mess it up.

“Look you didn’t hear it from me alright. But I’ve caught them looking at you more than once since we got outta that cell. Not to mention how you two slept.”

“That’s just how—.”

“Grizzop.” Sasha reaches out, her hand heavy on his shoulder. It’s enough to get him to shut up, not used to her being particularly touchy feely with him. “Stop coming up with reasons not to do it and just do it.”

He looks over to Vesseek and watches as they rub a towel over their head, leaving their fur sticking every which way. It makes him smile. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Sasha smirk. Vesseek gives a wave to Barnes and Carter and then wanders off, past Zolf and Wilde and disappearing into the inn.

Okay.

Okay.

He can do this.

“I can do this.”

“That’s the spirit.” Sasha says, but he’s already on his feet, carrying his bow loose in his grip and trusting that Sasha will clear up after them, given how much she encouraged him to do this.

He follows the same path as Vesseek, not stopping even when Wilde calls his name with smooth and genuine happiness. He’s focussed. He’s intent.

He can do this.

\--

His surety very soon appears to be misplaced.

He can hear Vesseek moving around in the room they share before he gets up to it. They’ve never been particularly quiet. The door is shut (that’s hardly stopped him before) but he can see the silhouette of his friend as they wander around the room, dropping things here and there, including what appears to be their shirt.

He should just go inside. He can do this. It’s simple really. Open the door. Greet Vesseek. Say there’s something they need to talk about.

He’s so angry at himself for _still_ managing to find ways to put this off that he reaches out and slides the door open with a flourish that startles Vesseek. They turn to him, surprised (and shirtless), smiling (and shirtless) and say:

“Grizzop? Are you okay?”

_The sound of the blast is ringing in his ears, making everything sound horribly far away. He feels like he’s underwater, his eyes screwed shut and the pulsing of blood so thick and fast that it sounds like the torrents that drowned his clutch, left him alone…_

_Hands grip his upper arms tight and he cracks his eyes open to find Vesseek there, frowning at him, looking a bit shell shocked themself._

_He’s okay. He’s still got all his limbs. Vesseek is fine too, all in one piece._

_“I’m okay.” He says, but he doesn’t sound right, not really._

_“You’re an idiot.” Vesseek says._

_He smiles. “Not mutually exclusive.”_

_Vesseek’s arms come around him tight, and he realises they’re shaking, gripping him so hard to try and steady themself as well. The rest of their clutch are scurrying around in the aftermath of the unplanned explosion, checking for survivors, making sure that nothing valuable was ruined._

_Vesseek isn’t helping. They’re not going anywhere but holding him._

_“Don’t do that again.” They say, directly into his ear. He hears it clear as anything. “Promise me.”_

_He swallows, feeling a scratch at the back of his throat. “I promise.”_

“I’m fine.”

Vesseek doesn’t look convinced, setting a hand on their hip and narrowing their eyes. “You’ve been weird all day. What’s up?”

They really are very lovely to look at, which is something he’s never really allowed himself to stop and actively consider before. If he had, he’s sure he wouldn’t have achieved half as much. It’s been easier to ignore it.

“I, uh.” He curses quietly, walking over to drop his bow on a side table and then moving so that he’s stood directly across from Vesseek. “We need to talk.”

Vesseek watches him for a moment, their head canted to one side as they consider. Their ears flicker a few times, and Grizzop knows that means they’re thinking hard. Then they smile.

“Do we?”

Grizzop feels his hands curl into frustrated fists at his sides. “‘Seek, don’t. I really want to talk to you.”

“Can’t we talk after?”

“After?”

They grin. “After I kiss you?”

 _Oh_.

“Huh.” He says, clearing his throat and looking away from the blatant amusement that Vesseek’s taking in catching him so off guard. “Okay.”

Vesseek’s satisfaction flickers into momentary surprise before they’re moving in, curling a hand around the back of Grizzop’s head and tugging him in close.

Kissing Vesseek is everything he imagined and more. Their fur tickles his lips as he angles his mouth against theirs, and their hands are so lovely and soft as they smooth over his scalp, his throat. He winds his arms around them tight and groans softly at the way they fit against him, all soft curves and warmth.

“You never waste time.” Vesseek says between kisses, lips brushing his. “Why’d this take so long?”

“You’re too important.” Grizzop grumbles, feeling them shudder nicely at that admission.

Vesseek has clever little hands, befitting a goblin who grew up stealing to survive, and it’s not long before they’ve got his shirt off and belt undone, before he’s even managed to touch more than their back. Grizzop leans back, bringing his hands up to cup Vesseek’s tits, thumbs rubbing over their nipples.

“You’re lovely.” He breathes, scratching his claws over the dark green buds.

“You too.” Vesseek laughs. “Now get on the bed already.”

It’s the most fun he’s ever had in bed, holding Vesseek close and kissing them through gasping laughs and moans, feeling them slide their thigh against his core and knowing that he’s leaving smears of slick behind. He slips a hand between their legs and feels the first unfurling of their tendrils, their cunt slowly responding to the feel of his touch.

“Have you thought about this?” He breathes, tugging them close as his fingers work deeper.

“Yes.” Vesseek mutters, their voice tremulous in the nicest way. “Brought myself off more times than I can count thinking about you.”

It does silly things to his guts to hear Vesseek be so open about it. He’s hoped of course. But he never dared…

“ _Gods_ Grizzop. Stop _thinking_.”

It’s easy to give in to that. The hand between his legs helps, Vesseek teasing him until his cock starts to lengthen and untwine, grasping at their touch all hungry and keen. Vesseek leans in, breathing heavily against his ear and making a shiver run down his spine.

“I want you in me.”

He’s been unable to deny them a thing since the day they met.

Vesseek goes onto their back when he pushes at them, stretches out and bows their back when he kisses down their throat to suck and nip at their tits until they’re squirming beneath him, some of that irritating poise finally gone.

Grizzop feels the twining searching thrust of his cock and knows that he’s not going to be able to hold on much longer. It feels like there’s a string between them that’s slowly been getting shorter since that day in Berlin and he’s unable to do anything about it now, here, with Vesseek finally beneath him.

He takes the barest of moments to admire the flushed slickness of Vesseek’s cunt before he rocks forward, cursing loudly as he slips inside their heat. It almost overwhelms him, how _right_ it feels, to be staring down at Vesseek’s wide eyes and broad smile as he rocks his hips deeper.

“ _Fuck_.” He breathes, laughing and dropping his head to their shoulder. “Fuck.”

“Move.” Vesseek gasps, legs hooking over his. “Please, fuck, move. C’mon.”

They fuck without any finesse, too far gone to care about anything but the push and pull of their bodies and how good it feels, chasing over their skin in waves of sensation. Vesseek brings a hand up to tug at his ear and Grizzop _howls_ with it, hips jerking quick and harsh against them. It feels too much and not enough all at once, the slick and rhythmic pulse of Vesseek around him, the dancing of their fingers over the cartilage of his outer ear.

He braces one hand beside their head and then brings the other to roll the swell of first one of their tits, then the other, feeling their nipples jut against his palm.

When he abandons them in favour of burying his face in their throat and Vesseek whines, Grizzop grins. “You tease, I tease.”

“Fuck you.” Vesseek laughs, slipping an arm down his back and folding their palm over his ass. “Fuck _me_.”

He does so, lost in it and so close now that he wants nothing more than to chase them both over the edge together. Vesseek all but loses their voice, moaning and crooning and panting around the sound of his name as he thrusts, harder and harder…

Vesseek shouts, their cunt rippling around his cock and Grizzop can’t hold on, coming deep inside them with a muffled cry of their name.

He forgot how messy it can be when two goblins fuck. The sheets are ruined, stained and scratched and Vesseek can only give a faint laugh when they look down at themself, the fur on their inner thighs matted and dark.

“Good thing I didn’t use the baths yet.”

Grizzop laughs, laying his head on their chest. “Think that’s the least of our problems, ‘Seek.”

“Must be _someone_ around here with _useful_ magic.” They grumble, a hand running up and down his spine.

Grizzop gives a great sigh and hides a yawn in the back of his hand. “Yeah, yeah. Fuck you too.”


End file.
